This Hotel Room Smells

It does. Seriously. I don't know what it is, but our "suite" here at the Ramada smells like a mixture of fart and cigarette smoke. Hopefully, the bottle of Crowne Royal and Gentleman Jack on the TV stand will dull my sense of smell in no time.

I don't really have a lot of time to do picks because I really need to start drinking. It is a cocktail party after all.

If someone talks about "revenge motivation" as a reason for Florida winning this game one more time, I will slaughter a kitten. Georgia was absolutely owned in this series in the 90's. You think perhaps they wanted some revenge any of those years? How about when Spurrier put up 50 between the hedges? They probably wanted some revenge then. Trouble was, their football players weren't as good. And that's what this game is going to come down to.

It doesn't matter who wants it more, whose coach wrote about it in their autobiography, or how many circumcisions a team's quarterback performed in the offseason. All that matters is talent and execution.

I have been back and forth about this one all week. On one hand, the Florida offense is beastly. Demps and Rainey give the Gators the balance they need on offense.

On the other hand, the trio of Stafford, Moreno and Green is probably the best three offensive players on any one team in the country. And the Bulldogs' offensive line is improving.

If anything, the revenge motivation factor will hurt the Gators. Maybe they're so fired up to hurt the Bulldogs that they commit some dumb penalties. (If I'm a Georgia player, I'm talking as much trash as I can to every Gator I see to get inside their helmets.)

Really, I wouldn't be surprised if either team wins. It's that much of a tossup to me. However, when it's this close, I have to go with the school I attend. A Bulldog win would make the Landing much more fun after the game.

Too much Moreno and Green and a key turnover or two give the win to the the red and black.

Dawgs 38-Gators 31

Just decided that the bottles of whisky on the TV stand are more appealing than picking more football games. Have a safe weekend everyone!

Greetings from Jacksonville

After a rigorous six hour drive, enhanced by a riveting conversation on the career triumphs of Morten Anderson and a pit stop across from "Holla for a Dolla," which may have been the classiest establishment in the state of Florida, I arrived in what is a surprisingly affluent area of Florida.   And then I found my hotel.  Fortunately, for all of the fear emitting from my female roommates, our high-class establishment has two benefits:  1) We're not the crackhouse across the street, and 2) We have wireless internet, so Adam and I can share our predictions and make good on our proclamation that we will have a new blog post every day this week.

Obviously the most pressing game for this weekend (at least for those of you who follow this blog) is going to Georgia/Florida.  And if you woke up early enough this morning to read my late night post, you know my prediction is for the Dawgs to win 34-29.  I don't anticipate the Gators to attempt a single field goal in this game (and for their two point conversion to come early to try to make a statement), and I anticipate this to be the difference in the game.  There's not a significant difference in talent on either side of the ball, but Mark Richt is head and shoulders a better coach than Urban Meyer, and for all the talk of revenge and motivation that the talking heads have hyped up for Florida, Georgia will be just as motivated to win this game as they were last year.

Meanwhile, in Atlanta, the special undereducated stepchildren of the Cocktail Party teams will duke it out to determine who will win the least-deserved BCS spot.  A revitalized Florida State team will take on the Georgia Tech Fumblers in what could very possibly be a preview of the ACC Championship game.  I read a very well thought out post on rivals.com this week detailing why the ACC Coastal Division was the strongest conference in football, because every single team is in the top 40 in Sagarin ratings and they all have winning records.  You can't trump those statistics with things like trivial things like "strength of schedule" or "talent."  Fortunately, you can start a strong debate with the phrase "They were so bad, Reggie Ball managed to start for all four years without anyone contending for the starting spot."  I figure I'll give the edge to the state of Florida for this one, with the Seminoles coming out on top 21-13, with Jonathan Dwyer accumulating 88% of his team's total yardage.  The other 12% comes from Florida State penalties.

In "Games that the rest of the country probably cares about more," College Gameday visits Lubbock for the first time to watch the top-ranked Texas Longhorns duke it out against the Texas Tech Red Raiders.  I'll be the first person to say that I thought that Texas Tech was significantly overrated, but after watching them dismantle a solid Kansas team last weak, I've changed my stance a little bit.  Instead of thinking they're lucky, I merely think that they won't be exposed until they play a team that actually has a defense.  I'm not quite sure if Texas has a legitimate defense or not, and I hope we'll find out this week.  I'm going to go against the grain and pick Texas Tech to win this game, 64-53.

I apologize for the lack of wit and lackluster effort in this, but my mind is currently elsewhere - Namely, I'm worried as hell about tomorrow.   I'll again give you the rundown for the rest of the weekend in wall of text form.  The Falcons will impress against the porous Oakland Defense, and DeAngelo Hall will be targeted a number of times.  The Hawks will again win tomorrow against Philadelphia to start off a season 2-0 for the first time in 98 years.  My next blog post will contain the word "receiver" spelled incorrectly at least twice.  The Sproletariat will emerge from their 2 week losing streak by pulling out victorious over "Holla at a Playa" and the improperly named "Winless Wonders" will continue being the "One-Win Wonder" against whoever he is playing.  Hopefully, Adam will have a concentrated effort when he arrives in an hour or so.  Regardless, I'll be back late on Sunday for what is hopefully Victory News.

Also, we've had a sudden influx of comments from people who I don't actually know in real life.  This is tremendously exciting, and I continue to call Adam every time I see one of you respond.  Keep it up, as I'd love to have a continuous stream of discussion going on here.  And if I'm wrong/uneducated/boring, call me out on it.  I'll be churning stuff out regardless, but if there's something you want to see written about more/less, I'll do my best to oblige.

So here we are...

As a team, the Georgia Bulldogs have experienced their share of highs and lows this season.  The exhilaration of being the preseason number one, tempered by the gradual falling in the polls and culminating in the embarrassment that ensued from the Alabama game, have put Georgia in the exact same spot that they anticipated early in the year:  Facing a equally ranked Florida team with the potential to catapult themselves back into consideration for the National Championship Game.

Georgia was ranked number one preseason for a reason.  Despite the touchdown spread that Florida is favored to win by on Saturday, the Dawgs have the coaching and talent to come out strong and leave Florida stunned, just like they did last year.  It's going to require a few things from the entire team though.

• Get the first touchdown.  Urban Meyer issued a gag order for the team, but not before someone on the Gators made clear that they had planned for this for a long time, and that retribution will be coming.  Similarly, a quote was floating around earlier this week from Darryl Gamble that the seniors had "something special" planned for the week.  While the quote was later retracted as erroneous, I would not be surprised at all for Georgia to have a follow up to the Gator Stomp.  Ultimately, the first team to score a touchdown is going to have a huge momentum shift that will likely last the entire game.
• To add onto the previous statement, it's important for the team to not make an ass of themselves for no reason.  Imagine the embarrassment that would have ensued if the Knowshon Superman dive would have been ruled down an inch from the goal line.  After the two penalty flags were awarded for the stomp, Georgia would have been facing a 3rd and 30 with team morale completely shot.  While I'm all in favor of the team showing enthusiasm, it's important that they don't embarrass themselves.
• Onto the actual game, the most important thing that Georgia did correctly last year was sacking Tim Tebow four times and keeping pressure on him the entire game.  Unfortunately, Marcus Howard left for the NFL and Jeff Owens is out for the season. Lomax and Battle were successful against a highly-acclaimed LSU offensive line, but they have not looked impressive against anyone else this year.  It's absolutely crucial to keep Tebow running around, because he is simply too good of a quarterback to give time in the pocket.  If this means blitzing Rennie Curran on the first four plays and selling the passing game short, then so be it.  Hell, if that means lining Rashad Jones up at middle linebacker with the intent of knocking the life out of Tim Tebow, then that's good too.  
• Ultimately, Tim Tebow does not scare me as a game changer.  Florida has two players that do:  Brandon James and Percy Harvin.  Keeping the ball away from Brandon James should be relatively easy:  Don't kick him the ball.  If this means that Georgia needs to kick it to the 20 yard line every kickoff, then Blair Walsh should be set.  He does that unintentionally about half the time anyways.  Florida returning the ball to the 35 yard line every drive is easily preferable to James darting through defenders and barely being tackled at the 50.
• Percy Harvin is going to be significantly harder.  Most of you remember how pesky he was last year, taking snaps at both wide reciever and running back, and generally wreaking havoc on the Georgia Defense.  With Florida's newly-hyped track star backfield, Harvin will likely be contained to Wide Receiver.  The smart move on Georgia's part would be to make sure that both Asher Allen and Rashad Jones are lined up on the same side.  Allen plays the best coverage on the team, and Jones just hits people hard.  If I had to pick someone on Florida to make the big plays, I'd feel much more comfortable as a Georgia fan if their hopes relied on their running game and the "other" wide receivers.
• Of course, the same thing could be said of Georgia.  Stafford has shown a tendency recently to look only at A.J. Green, which has led to some ill-advised throws.  The offense showed diversity last week with touchdowns by Fred Munzemeier, who I previously did not know existed, and Kenneth Harris, who would have been the fourth receiver on the depth chart to start off the year.  Georgia has a very talented receiving corps, and Stafford should take advantage of that regularly.  Passes to Kris Durham, Aron White, and even Shaun Chapas will spread the defense even more, and allow A.J. Green and Knowshon to make the game-changing performances that they are capable of.
• Ultimately what Georgia needs to do to win is to play to their strengths.  If you've followed the team this year, you would be hard pressed to name any glaring weaknesses.  The Offensive Line has been criticized all year, but banded together for a stellar performance last week.  Blair Walsh has been inconsistent, but if the game relies on Blair Walsh kicking field goals, then Georgia is probably not going to win the game regardless.  Florida has a lot of individual players that can beat them, but players can be contained.  Whichever team plays together as a whole is going to win the game tomorrow, and Georgia team that has grown together for the past two or three years is simply a better team that the hyped Gator team.  At the end of the day, Georgia gets the advantage this Saturday, call it 34-29

Why the Gators Suck: And Other Ramblings

Ah I can practically smell the beer and bourbon of Jacksonville already. I'm quite tempted to leave immediately and sleep in the car until the game. However, I think I'll try to resist. Before we get into this week's post, the million...and millions...of OTR's fans have clamored for some more LSU quotes. Here are a few.

"We go into every game trying to score every time we get the ball. That's our thought process and what we work towards, and we were able to move the ball well on them (LSU). We got some big plays when we needed them today. Knowshon (Moreno) had some good runs for us and some guys made some good plays for us catching the football and what's what got us going."

~Georgia quarterback Matthew Stafford on putting up 52 points in Tiger Stadium

"It's very disappointing; we never like to lose in our own house. It's a real deep gut feeling. We have to turn around and look at ourselves and figure out who we really are. It's about pride and it really hurt our pride with them coming in our house and beating us like that."

~LSU tailback Charles Scott on getting beat at home

"That was a shock even to the defense. What a way to start it off, and then ending the game off like that too was great."

~Georgia cornerback Asher Allen on Darryl Gamble's two interception returns for touchdowns

"It just gives us confidence going against a team that is similar as far as speed and has athletes all over the field like LSU does. We know that Florida has some tremendous athletes."

~Allen on the Florida game.

Really, the rest of them aren't too terribly interesting. Anyway, it's time to put that game behind us, as Georgia has somewhat of a large football contest this weekend in Jacksonville. Ah, yes it's Florida week, which means it's time for thinking about how much we hate the jort wearers. To make things easier, I have come up with my top-10 list of reasons to hate UF. Feel free to amend or add to this list.

10.) Orange and blue: Seriously, this is the most heinous color combination ever devised for sports teams. Those shiny orange pants are absolutely disgusting. Remember when they used those prototype Nike jerseys with one orange sleeve? Did it not make you want to serioulsy adjust the color of your TV screen, say by throwing it out the window?

9.) Joakim Noah: I know, this is about a football game. But just knowing that Noah played basketball for that school makes me want to beat the Gators even worse on Saturday. Noah looked like a cross between Diana Ross and Gollum from Lord of the Rings. He danced like a drunken frat boy with a nerve disorder. He was the basketball equivalent of Tim Tebow, dancing up and down the court after dunking on some no-name forward from UT-Chattanooga. I have limited respect for the rest of the players on those championship Gator teams. But I hate Noah. You should too.

8.) Gator bait cheer: I don't know who did it first, LSU or Florida, but this trend of saying your mascot and adding the word "bait" after it is assinine. When I think of bait, I think of a worm on a fish hook. Sure, the worm is luring the fish to its eventual death, but the worm is getting eaten after having a hook driven through it. So, by calling opposing fans Gator bait, you're saying that you are using Bulldogs to lure Gators into capture. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy an alligator Po' Boy as much as the next guy. It just seems that using that as your team's main cheer is pointless. In Jacksonville last year, I don't know how many times I heard some Florida frat boy in orange pants scream "If you're not a Gator, you're Gator bait." Chalk it up there with "Boomer Sooner" as one of most nonsensical cheers in sports.

7.) Mr. Two Bits: Hi, I'm a 70-something year-old man that wears orange pants and cheats death every Saturday by screaming in the middle of Florida Field. Seriously, nothing represents the state of Florida more accurately than some septegenerian screaming himself silly in hideous pants. Combined with the cheer of "two bits, four bits, six bits, a dollar, all for the Gators stand up and holler," and this ancient, moth-ball odored buffoon gives Mr. Two Bits the distinction of owning the seventh spot on my list.

6.) Selective amnesia: While admittedly, most of the SEC (I'm looking at you Bama fans) lives much too far in the past when it comes to gloating about their school's accomplishments, Florida goes in the complete opposite direction. Prior to Steve Spurrier arriving as coach in 1990, the Gator football program was a joke. Gator fans want to talk about having the best program in SEC history. If the last 18 years is all that encompasses "history," they would be right. Bring this fact up to them, and they will likely spit their Skoal at you (and that's the female Gator fans). I know, Georgia fans often times dwell in a perpetual 1980 (oh, Herschel). But still, have a sense of history Gator fans. The Dawgs still own the all-time series. Read a book.

5.) Urban Meyer: "Adam! How can you only have Meyer at number 5 on the list? He's such a douchebag!" I know, he is. A giant one. But he's only been there for a few years. He hasn't had a chance to move too far up the list. But make no mistake, Meyer is on his way. First, his name is Urban. His parents were pretentious enough to name him after a Pope. They must have known how he would turn out. Meyer bitches and moans more than any other coach on the planet to get his team into bowl games (yet no one says anything). He recruits gymnasts so their boyfriends will come play football for him. He refers to himself in the third person. "It will forever be a big deal in the mind of Urban Meyer." Hey Urban, if you didn't like the celebration, maybe you should have come back and won the game. Seriously, you were freaking out on the sideline getting your team jacked up to respond. But you think the celebration was a bad deal? Don't worry, Special K has something special for you this year.

4) Mullets, jean shorts, and sleeveless t shirts: Enough said.

3) The Gator Chomp: Seriously, you morons look like you're pretending to be Pac-Man, and I don't mean the one that makes it rain. This is by far the most idiotic hand-gesture in sports. I imagine you can't go to a welfare office, NASCAR race, Piggly Wiggly, or trailer park in the northern Florida without seeing numerous toothless wonders chomping away. The most memorable Gator chomps are always done by opposing players (think Auburn kicker of Mo Mass from last year). Nobody, and I mean nobody, thinks it's cool. And no, that's not because we aren't Gator fans. I'll admit that South Carolina's 2001 entrance is awesome, and that LSU has the coolest fight song. But the Gator Chomp is a laughing stock, and doing it is a good way to identify yourself as having a mild form of brain damage.

2) Steve Spurrier: I have to admit, if the Ole Ball Coach were my team's head coach, I would love him. I even find him harmless as South Carolina. But Spurrier was a Demon in Gainesville and he will forever have a black spot int he hearts of Georgia fans. Spurrier (like Meyer) didn't know the meaning of "emptying his bench." It didn't matter if he was up by 3 or 33, he was going to try to score. He also had a special love of beating the Dawgs, which he did quite often. A particulary awesome quote of his was, "It seems every year during recruiting, Georgia has the best players. But when we play them, we have the best players. I wonder what happens to them." As hilarious and accurate as that quote was, it's what makes Spurrier one of the most universally-hated coaches in history. Nothing is better than watching that overgrown toddler throw his visor around and yell at his assistant coaches and players.

1.) Tim Tebow: Was there any doubt? Kudos to the young man for earning his way to the top spot on my list despite still being an active player there. There are inumerable reasons to hate the Gators' quarterback, but I'll go over a few:

-The media mancrush on Tebow is epic. If Tebow has loose stool at 8 a.m., it's on ESPN's bottom line by 9. Everything he does is "courageous" and "heroic." We get footage of a topless Tebow lifting weights almost every Saturday. We get in-depth player profiles about his pious upbringing, his visits to prisons, and his circumcisions. We get references to Tebow during football games that in on way involve Tebow, the Gators, the state of Florida, or people named Tim in general.

-The Tebow run: From now on, every quarterback who ever runs out of the pocket and makes contact with a defender will be compared to Tebow. It doesn't matter if Brad Johnson is flushed out of the pocket and gets tackled for a one-yard gain, the announcers will tell the viewers that Johnson is "no Tim Tebow." Tebow is a big moose. He runs straight ahead at tacklers. It's not a novel idea. Then, we get the treat of having him jump up and do jumping jacks after every four-yard gain against some non-conference sacrifice.

-He cries. Seriously, we all know you're so emotionally invested in the game. It's inspiring. But crying on national television after a loss is just plain sad. Even Gator fans would HAVE to admit that they would find this pathetic if he wasn't their quarterback. Most athletes stopped crying in little league. Or at least they wait until the locker room where no one can see them. Grow up, Tim. Grow up.

There are many more reasons to hate Tebow. I just don't have the time.

Like I said, there are plenty of reasons to hate the Gators. Let me know what you would put on there, or if you would change the order.

Side note: My fantasy football team finally won a game! Yay for me!

Tampa Bay: America's Team

For a couple of years now, I've loved watching the Tampa Bay Rays play baseball, yet could never figure out exactly why.  It wasn't their proximity to Atlanta, as I already had a local tie to cheer for.  There were no players who I was connected to (sans the twilight of Fred McGriff), though I did appreciate the young players they have on the team.  It took an early morning conversation yesterday to realize what it is about Tampa Bay that I really appreciate.

It all started when the Tigers traded Scott Kazmir to Atlanta for Doyle Alexander.

Wait, that's not right at all.  Kazmir was traded from the Mets to the Rays for Victor Zambrano.  Though the confusion between the two eras is understandable.  After all, unless you've graduated college by a couple of years, you're not going to remember the start to the era of the Braves.  I was lamentably four years old when the worst-to-first season happened, and it wasn't until 1996 that I was truly able to appreciate the game of baseball.  Fortunately, now I can

 turn on the television and see the 1991 Atlanta Braves redux.

Consider it:  The parallels between Smoltz and Kazmir continue from their transaction history to their pitching style.  It also continues throughout the entire pitching staff.  Troy Percival worse a shirt preseason that compared Kazmir/Shields/Garza to Glavine/Smoltz/Avery, and while it doesn't work in that order, his prediction was more apt than even he expected.  Shields (Glavine) was the more consistent, less flashy pitcher of the staff, and is many ways who you would want starting in a game 7.  Whereas Steve Avery (Matt Garza) was wildly talented, but terribly inconsistent.  Through in another homegrown pitcher who is prone to throw ridiculously good games despite being overshadowed by his pitching staff (Hiya Andy Sonnastine, may you also be an effective relief pitcher for 28 years like Kent Mercker) and a closer who many considered to already be well past his twilight when the season started (Juan Berenguer, we hardly knew you)

It continues through the offense.  Consider this:  A second base prospect brought up through the entire farm system, gets to the majors, and lacks a lot of fielding expertise.  However, his power/speed capablity is so good, you stick him in the outfield so you don't lose his bat.  Obviously people remember B.J. Upton as a second baseman, but not as many realize that Ron Gant started his career there as well.  Their replacements in the middle infield were two light-hitting, slick-fielding players.  One who started his MLB career with the team (Lemke/Aki), and one who was traded away from a competitor who couldn't stand the lack of offense (Belliard/Bartlett).  Gant instead shared the outfield with an electric center fielder who made up for his lack of power by his ability to fly around the bases, and depending on who you prefer to compare him to, either Deion Sanders or Otis Nixon would be an apt comparison for Carl Crawford.  I'm not going to push my luck by trying to compare Cliff Floyd to a young Dave Justice (Though numbers-wise, it could work), nor Sid Bream to Carlos Peña (Peña is significantly more mobile).  Consider this, though.  Tampa Bay was fortunate enough to get their Chipper Jones four years early in Evan Longoria.

The Tampa Bay Rays are a good team.  They're a team that was built the way I was taught.  Draft young talent, keep them in the system, and build around them with key veteran acquisitions.  The only major free agents on that team were not wanted by anybody else when Tampa Bay signed them, very similar to the Pendleton/Bream/Belliard acquisitions of 1991.  Of course, in true Atlanta fashion, it looks like the Rays are going to lose the World Series this year.  Fortunately for them, however, they're on pace for 4 more in the next decade.

Which brings me to a question:  As good as the team is now, what happens when they sign their Greg Maddux?

Tiger Bait? Nah. Dawg Food.

Anyone who says that sleep is a necessary ingredient to a healthy lifestyle has never been to Louisiana. Your trusty OTR blogmaster was running on about three hours of sleep when he arrived in Baton Rouge to cover the game for the Athens Banner-Herald. Despite the sleep deprivation, I was able to take in the spectacle that is Tiger Stadium and it didn't disappoint.

But first, a timeline of the weekend's events, just so you can see where I'm coming from.

7:30 p.m.--I'm in Jefferson, covering Jefferson High School's massacre of Rabun County. Very few Rabun County players leave with their limbs in tact.

12:45 a.m.--After my coworkers get finished putting together Saturday's paper, we hit the road, stopping in Duluth to meet former Georgia beat writer Josh Kendall to pick something up from him.

5:00 a.m.--We arrive in Montogmery, AL where we thought we were going to sleep. Unfortunately, the hotel could not check us in for some reason. We decided to keep driving.

7:15 a.m.--Mercifully, we arrive in Mobile and actually stop and sleep. I barely get to know my bed. We wake up at 9:30. I do not feel refreshed.

1:45 p.m.--We arrive in Baton Rouge. We make our way through many LSU tailgates, all of which smell very good. We can't enjoy any of them. Finally, we find the Tiger Stadium press box and get ready for the game.

That's just a taste of the madness. By the time the game started, I felt mildly insane, due to my lack of sleep. Darryl Gamble only added to that sense of insanity when he stepped in front of Jarrett Lee's first pass and took it 40 yards to the house. Much has been made of Dannell Ellerbe's absence in recent weeks, but Gamble has been lights out. His 13 tackle, two interception for touchdown performance will not likely be duplicated. But he would definitely be considered an adequate replacement.

Guys, this game was the reverse of the Alabama game. While Georgia got dominated much worse than the score indicated against Alabma, the Dawgs dominated LSU much more thoroughly than the scoreboard showed. Knowshon Moreno torched the Tigers for two long runs, including a 68-yard touchdown run in which he mocked the LSU student section. I wrote a story about Moreno's day for the Banner-Herald. You can read it here. (Side note: for some reason, Moreno kept referring to Matthew Stafford as "John" during post-game interviews. Knowshon is a strange animal.)

Speaking of John, the Big Texan had himself another great ballgame. The stat sheet wasn't overwhelming, but he made some great throws in a deafening environment. Stafford's ability to convert on third down was especially impressive. Obviously, AJ Green was huge again, but guys like Mikey Moore, Demiko Goodman and even Aron White stepped up with big games. All of the skill players simply dominated the Bayou Bengals.

The defense was...sufficient. The Dawgs had three picks, which was a nice change of pace. However, Charles Scott ran for 144 yards and bounced off potential tacklers several times. That's going to have to get shored up if the Dawgs have a chance in Jacksonville.

The real story of the game was the offensive line. I have a nice big plate of crow to eat, as I expected the o-line to emerge from Baton Rouge as corpses, not heroes. Stafford was sacked just once, and Moreno's afformentioned big game was aided by some big holes to run through. While LSU's defense was obviously overrated (good defenses don't give up 50 points twice in one season), the Georgia o-line still played one hell of a game. As Bill pointed out, Vandy's d-line has been quite good and the Georgia offensive line was equal to that challenge as well. Like I said, I have been one of the o-line's biggest critics all year. I sit corrected.

All in all, the Tiger Stadium experience was impressive. From the first four notes of "Hold That Tiger" during pregame, the crowd was loud and involved. Their student section participated until late in the game when the Dawgs had put it away. Before the game, the LSU faithful was downright frightening. Grown main were literally shaking because they were so fired up. And by the fourth quarter, they had retreated to the swamps on Bobby Boucher's airboat. I have respect for LSU's program, but it's always fun sending those drunk idiots back to the bayou.

I have plenty of other quotes from players after the game. However, I'm realistic and I know that no one will probably read this. If someone does, and you guys want some other quotes, let me know.

Other than that, stay tuned all week. In honor of Florida week, we are going to have a new post every day. Try to make it through whatever you have going on this week, because it's almost time for a cocktail party.

Weakened Picks: In witch whee use homonyms

Rest assured, faithful readers, I'm not going to actually spend this entire post torturing your cranial chambers with poor spelling. If I wanted to do that, I'd go find an AOL chatroom and pretend to be a fourteen year old girl. But the significance of the LSU/UGA game coming up this weekend gives me ample opportunity to shed some rage on one of the little things that irritate me in college football. There's USC's constant ego-stroking, Notre Dame perennially obtaining high rankings in the BCS, Hawai'i in general, and LSU considering themselves witty, trendy, and off-the-beaten-bath by spelling the timeless, classic cheer "Go" with their own "Cajun Spice." From this point, I will now refer to my weekday activities as "Gawin' to clahss." And I'll call it "Southern Bostonian" and you will all hate me.

I didn't make picks last week, and probably for good reason, as I would have had a spectacularly incorrect day again. I think I'm going to keep picking Missouri to win every week, and

eventually I'm going to get it right. Or maybe I should just keep picking USC to win, as my favor links in with the death touch. Regardless, I should at least be able to match the record put forth by Lou Holtz and Mark May last week on ESPN, where Holtz went 0-5 and May went 2-3.

Georgia at LSU

I want to be trendy and pick against my hometown team. Really, I do. We could have a column about questionable decision making, about the lack of a statement game, and the rash of injuries. We could talk about preseason expectations being shattered by that devastating loss against the first true opponent we've faced all year. And if I kept my terms concise enough...You would have no idea which of the two teams I was talking about. LSU is a mirror image of Georgia this year, only where Georgia excels in the players at skill positions, LSU excels at getting big bayou boys to beef up the offensive line. Because of that, I'm not counting on a whole lot of production from the hopefully-healthy Knowshon Moreno, but am cautiously optimistic about an improving offensive line. If anybody read my weekend notes (Probably Not), very few people realize that Vanderbilt led the SEC in sacks coming into Athens. With Francois still probably not at 100%, hopefully Clint Boling and the rag-tag group we call an offensive line can at least hold their own for those fade routes to the returning Kris Durham, and hopefully LSU's shaky quarterback situation won't take advantage of the 15 yard cushion allowed to all of his wide receivers.

(PS, for those of you who refuse to hold coaching accountable for mistakes, you're insinuating that we have a lack of talent in our players, so shut up, you know nothing about football. See, I can play that game too)

Petty squabbling aside, the line for this game is set to favor LSU by 2.5, meaning that they anticipate that Georgia has better players, but the home field advantage of LSU is just enough to overcome. However, my faith in Mark Richt's ability to prepare his team on the road inclines me to reverse that spread, giving Georgia a 28-24 victory.

Penn State at Ohio State

Meanwhile, in Bizarro America, I find myself forced to cheer for Ohio State. The team whose rankings I have bemoaned for years upon years, the only team who rivals Oklahoma for choking in big games is the team that is going to have to pull one out for the BCS to fall into place. Ohio State looked strong to start off the season, then lost Beanie Wells. They looked awful without him, but only managed to lose one game. Now he's back, and Tressel actually looks relatively smart for not getting an itchy trigger finger on his return, because now they're one of seemingly sixteen one loss teams with a decent shot at the championship.

Penn State, on the other hand, has done nothing but blow out every single opponent they played, looking invincible...Until last week against Michigan, of all teams. Fortunately, the hole they dug out of was shallower than Georgia's against Alabama, and they were able to take a sizable lead by the end of the game. That first half performance, however, proved that they're not the dominant team I imagined them to be. In a game too close to call, I'm going to give it to the home team at 35 - 30, because Ohio State was ranked high preseason for some reason.

Virginia at Georgia Tech

Virginia, despite singlehandedly establishing USC's claim to dominance in week one, and allowing the Blue Devils to look like a coherent football team in week four, has a record that could qualify as "piddling." Fortunately for the Cavaliers, the entire ACC could be considered "piddling." Unfortuantely, Al Groh is their head coach, and really has very little idea what he is doing. If you haven't visited http://www.dontfirealgroh.com/ then you're missing out on a real treat. Jason Butt of the Red and Black seems to think Georgia Tech is legitimate competition and should be a game that Georgia fans have reason to be concerned about. Based on my opinion of the Red and Black, the score of this game should be Georgia Tech -13, Virginia -24. I'm not sure what it corresponds to on the scoreboard, but statistically it matches up with the ratings they'll get, as well as the number of fans they drew for the last two ACC Championship games.

God, I used two image macros in this post. I feel too dirty to continue with paragraphs. Look for the Michael Turner to have an effective game against Philadelphia, but for the first time it won't be enough for the Falcons, who should go down 28-14 to the high-powered Eagles Offense. On paper, Matt Garza and Jamie Moyer is a mismatch, for good reason. Rays win game three by at least three runs, and go on to win the series 4-2. Tampa Bay should pull off the quasi-upset of the Dallas Cowboys, as their staunch run defense should be all they need with Tony Romo either out or ineffective without his pinky. And finally, look for the Hawks to open up this Wednesday with a win at Orlando, even though Dwight Howard should have been a Hawks. And I cry myself to sleep thinking about a team with Chris Paul, Josh Smith, and Dwight Howard.

And they lived happily ever after.