Who Throws a Shoe? Honestly!

Apparently, I run a blog. It appears as if I have been neglecting my duties as blogmaster general, mostly due to the hectic end of a semester. But I'm back, and rest assured, OTR is still going strong.

Since we've been gone, AJ Burnett has signed with the Yankees, Sam Bradford has won the Heisman, Auburn has hired Gene Chizik, and an Iraqi journalist hurled a size-10 wingtip at the President of the United States.

To quote Austin Powers, who throws a shoe? I mean, obviously people hate George Bush. A lot of people. But aren't there more effective ways of expressing your hatred of someone? Best case scenario for this guy, he hits Bush between the eyes. Maybe he makes his nose bleed. Meanwhile, the Secret Service makes him and his family disappear by the time Air Force One leaves the tarmac.

As Tony Kornheiser quipped the other day, it's surprising the Yankees haven't offered this rubber-armed Iraqi a five-year deal at $50 million. It's getting a little silly. Of course, Major League Baseball doesn't have a salary cap so the Evil Empire is well within its rights in spending like crazy this offseason. It was only a matter of time before the Steinbrenner clan got an itchy trigger finger and started collecting All-Stars for their army.

Realistically, I'm glad the Yanks got Burnett. The Braves were going to overpay for him and at least he's not on a National League squad. The only problem is, now the Braves are going to be hard pressed to find the ace they've been looking for this offseason. They could revive the Peavy talks. Derek Lowe and Ben Sheets (one's old and one's a walking blob of tendonitis) are still out there. Anyone have Danny Almonte's number?

Regardless, not even a top-of-the-line starter would save the Braves this year. There's still a gaping hole where their outfield's offensive production used to be, and the bullpen is still...interesting.

Then we have Rafael Furcal returning to Atlanta. Or not? Yes, he is! Oh, nevermind, he's staying. Apparently, Furcal is represented by Ari Gold. Paul Kinzer, Furcal's shark...er...I mean agent, basically pulled the old okie-doke on the Braves, using the Atlanta offer as leverage to sweeten the pot for Los Angeles.

Braves president John Schuerholz is less than amused about the whole turn of events. He basically said Kinzer and his partner Arn Tellem they can sit on it, saying that all of their clients are dead to the Braves (kind of like that studio head that died on Entourage).

I never really understood the Furcal deal in the first place, unless they were planning on using Yunel Escobar as trade bait for Jake Peavy with Furcal's arrival. Still, the Braves feel like they got hosed.

Essentially, the Braves are swimming in a sea of failure this offseason. Whether you agree with the proposed moves or not, Atlanta has went after three players this offseason (Peavy, Burnett and Furcal) and came up empty (much like Jeff Francoeur). A team that used to have free agents lining up down Hank Aaron Drive to play for Bobby Cox now can't get anyone to play in Atlanta. It's not the players that the Braves lost that hurts, it's the fact that they cant get players that they agressively went after.

Speaking of frustrating, how about that Gene Chizik hiring on The Plains. I, for one, feel bad for the guy. He has already been given no chance by the Auburn fan base. Next year was going to be a rebuilding effort of sorts anyway. Recruits began to jump ship as soon as Tubberville packed up the U-Haul. In short, it was going to be a tough year regardless of the coach.

Now, the guy already has everyone from Charles Barkley to Auburn boosters calling for his head and he hasn't even picked out an orange-and-blue golf shirt yet. Granted, the guy was 5-19 at Iowa State, which isn't exactly a gold star on the resume.

He's following a very well-liked guy in Tommy Tubberville so there's bound to be sour grapes. All I know is that the dude better be ready for a battle going up against Saban in a recruiting war. He's going to have a tough sell trying to tell some kid he should come to The Plains and play for a 5-19 coach as opposed to moving into Sabanation.