An American Tale: Knowshon Goes West

After a brief hiatus, I have returned. I'm going head to head with JB and Lav of 2 Guys, 1 Blog on the picks this week. Whoever gets more right gets to carry an imaginary title belt around until next week's picks. Pointless trophies are some of my favorite things, so here we go.

One more thing...JB and I agree, if you haven't tried Firefly sweet-tea vodka, do it now. Run.

No 3. Georgia at Arizona State

Like the intrepid settlers of long ago, Georgia heads west this weekend to take on the Sun Devils in prime time. Arizona State comes off an embarrassing loss to UNLV, in which they were clearly looking ahead to the Bulldogs' visit. Meanwhile, Georgia continues to defy the laws of physics by dropping in the ranking while winning. The Bulldogs need to win, and look good doing it, in order to make believers out of the talking heads with poll votes.

All the morons that think the Arizona heat is going to affect the Dawgs more than the Sun Devils obviously haven't been to the Deep South in August. Georgia finally gets a pass rush on an inexperienced ASU offensive line, while Knowshon Moreno gets back into the Heisman race with another big day.

Dawgs 28-10

No.6 LSU at No.10 Auburn

This one is always a great game. Too bad it's on at the same time as Georgia-ASU. The Spread Eagle offense takes on a group of large, angry monsters in the LSU d-line. Auburn offensive coordinator Tony Franklin's vaunted offense scored 3 points last week against Missy State. LSU's defense could eat Missy State. LSU bucks the trend of the home team winning this one.

LSU 20-10

No.4 Florida at Tennessee

Gator linebacker Brandon Spikes filled up the Neyland Stadium bulletin board this week by calling the Vols quitters. Unfortunately, bulletin boards don't put on pads and play. The team that lost to the team that lost to BYU by 60 points can't beat the Gators. However, it will be a little closer than the experts think. The power of Neyland can't be underestimated, and the Vols will play inspired. I still hate Tim Tebow.

Florida 35-17

No.18 Wake Forest at No.24 Florida State

Ummmm best game in the ACC? If Wake wins, they should be the class of the ACC. Papa Bowden's bunch could establish themselves as an ACC title contender with a win. It's at Doak, which should help, but it won't be enough. I just can't make myself care. Being the ACC champ is like being the skinniest kid at fat camp...it doesn't mean much.

Wake 21-17

Mississippi State at Georgia Tech

Some glitch in the time-space continuum allowed the Jackets to lose a game last week. Well savor the flavor sports fans because rest assured, it won't happen again. Some people would call the style of this game "ugly" and "boring." They have no vision. It's really going to be a "beautiful defensive battle." CPJ knows a one-win team can still win the BCS title, and he won't let the Jackets lose another one.

GT 13-7

Now onto the NFL, where the players get paid over the table instead of under it. All I know is my fantasy football team better get it together or I'm going to be out 10 bucks. Derek Anderson, where are you?

Chiefs at Falcons

Ahhh the most appealing game of the weekend. The Chiefs lost to the Raiders last week. That's enough said.

Falcons 23-14

New Orleans at Denver

If Brandon Marshall can take time out of his busy assault schedule to play in this one, the Broncos should win at home. They really should bring back the Mile High Salute.

Broncos 31-20

Pittsburgh at Philadelphia

The coveted battle of Pennsylvania should be a good one this weekend. Willie Parker is off to a fast start, and the Steelers are looking like a force in the AFC. Meanwhile, Donovan McNabb seems to have eaten plenty of chunky soup this year because he looks like he did five years ago. This one's a tossup, but I'll go with the home team.

Philly 21-17

Jacksonville at Indianapolis

The Jaguars are supposed to be good. But they haven't been. Indy took advantage of the last game of the Tavaris Jackson era in Minnesota. I think Peyton and the boys start to get the offense going, because if the Colts are going to win this one, Joseph Addai is going to have to average over 2 yards per carry. I really don't know why, but I'll go with the mild upset.

Jacksonville 30-20

Dallas at Green Bay

The Cowboys had themselves a fight last week with Philly. Terrell Owens may have to carry my fantasy team this year, so I'm pullin for the Cowboys in this one. Aaron Rodgers seems to have made the Packer faithful forget about that goateed dude from the Wrangler commercials. The Cowboys' offense is too good, and Jessica Simpson is too hot. I hope she's at the game.

Dallas 33-21

Alright folks, there you go. Go ahead and tell me where you disagree so I'll believe you afterwards. Find an adult beverage and enjoy all the action this weekend. Or head on over to our place and help us enjoy our adult beverages.