Falcons on pace to go undefeated
The Atlanta Falcons are an offensive juggernaut that cannot be stopped. Seriously, I thought that Paul Johnson's triple-option march of doom offense on the flats was the greatest show in the ATL. Apparently, I was wrong.
Michael Turner, previously most famous for picking up garbage time yards after LaDanian Tomlinson was too tired from torching opposing defenses, set an Atlanta franchise record with 220 rushing yards. That total roughly equals the Falcons' offensive output from all of last year. Jerious Norwood added 93 yards of his own, and the Falcons also set a new record for team rushing yards in a game.
All Matt Ryan did to keep his name in the spotlight was complete a 62-yard touchdown pass to Michael Jenkins on his first NFL passing attempt. First off, I think this may have been the first touchdown pass I have ever witnessed Jenkins catch. I mean, I've seen his stats they say he's caught TDs before. But I always thought it was an urban legend like bigfoot or global warming. Again, I digress. After the touchdown pass, Ryan's celebration looked like a bizarre cross between Tim Tebow and Richard Simmons. Regardless, it was the first signs of excitement at a Falcons game since before Mike Vick was slaughtering animals.
Dawgs win big, Moreno challenges gravity
Georgia torched another mediocre opponent. Fortunately, they didn't drop to 18th in the polls after this one. Knowshon Moreno scored three touchdowns on 168 yards rushing. He also did his best Carl Lewis impression when he hurdled Central Michigan defensive back Vince Agnew during a 26-yard run. Moreno said "it was instinct" that made him jump over another almost upright human being. The usual options are (a) go around defender to the left, (b) go around to the right, (c)plow through said defender, or (d)run out of bounds. Moreno never liked multiple choice tests. Unfortunately, Moreno doensn't play for Florida or USC so he probably won't be considered for the Heisman. The cupcakes have all been eaten on Georgia's schedule and next week's trip to Columbia will be the first real test of just how good this team is. Frankly, I'm sold on the offense. The defense, we'll see...
Tech continues world domination
As I touched on earlier, Georgia Tech continued to prove it's invincibility, crushing Boston College 19-16. Not much to say about this game, other than it was about as entertaining to watch as a seminar on office supplies. Seriously, the ACC should market itself as a weight-loss drug, as it is almost vomit inducing to watch. Wake Forest, the team picked by many to win the conference, needed a last-second field goal to beat Ole Miss, a team that didn't win an SEC game last year and is more known for hot women, upscale tailgating and mint juleps.
Meyer somehow manages to make Miami look classy
Florida coach Urban Meyer is a douche. I know, I could have said that in a much more eloquent, tactful way. But why say 10 words when one sums it up perfectly? After dragging ass through three quarters and letting Miami (hereafter referred to as The U just because I hate Louis Murphy) stick around in The Swamp. Meyer proceeded to run up the score as the game wound down, having the Golden Boy Tebow pad his stats with a deep touchdown pass. Meyer then took whatever class and sportsmanship he had left, crumpled it up, threw it on the ground, and took a giant steaming dump all over it. Already up by 20 points with under a minute to play, Meyer opted to kick a field goal. Ladies in gentlemen, never in NCAA history had Miami been the classier team on the field in any game (note: I do like Randy Shannon and think he is well on his way to turning the Canes around). Meyer is the epitome of sleazy, the Anti-Richt. I hope he has nightmares about the endzone celebration every night and has to call Tebow for a midnight backrub.
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