Weekend Picks: Creamsicle Edition

It's the weekend, which means one thing: I'm rapidly running out of time to complete my very below average take-home test. Pray for me loyal OTR readers.

It also means that there are sports to be predicted. I feel like I'm up to the challenge, although my stomach doesn't feel so good after the cholesterol festival I just had at Blind Pig.

Someone else whose stomach can't feel too good right now is Phil Fulmer. He has to feel like one of those prisoners being led to the gallows. I've talked about the Vols' struggles all week, while Arian Foster has talked in dinosaur language. I'm in the same boat as a lot of people, meaning I could see this being one of those games that has Georgia fans jumping headfirst off the upper deck.

No, I don't think Tennessee is better than Georgia. At all. But, Georgia has been maddeningly frustrating at times this season, and I could see the Vols putting quite a scare into the Dawgs. I expect Knowshon Moreno to be used somewhat sparingly to protect his bruised elbow.

Look for the Vols to follow the Bama plan for massacring Georgia at home by running straight at the depleted Georgia defense. No Dannell Ellerbe means potential problems stopping Arian Fostersaurus. Look for the Dawgs to win, but not in confidence-instilling fashion.

Dawgs 23-Vols 17

The biggest game in the SEC is happening down in Tebowtopia, as The Gambler brings LSU into the Swamp to take on the Gators. The Gators took out their post Ole Miss frustations by dropping a few mint juleps and pounding Arkansas into dust.

Florida is favored 6, and I actually agree. I know, the Gators haven't looked very good this year. LSU, on the other hand, has. But folks, I don't see Florida losing in the Swamp twice in one year. Tebow is going to get abused by the LSU front four, but I think the Gators make a couple of big plays. Anything to keep the SEC interesting.

Gators 30-Tigers 28

The Red River Shootout is relevant again! I just found out Skip Bayless went to Texas, which means I am of course rooting for Oklahoma. Colt McCoy and Sam Bradford are both completing over 70% of their passes so far this year. That's solid.

I'll go with the Sooners based on the fact that I wish Skip Bayless would take up the art of mime. That, and the Sooners' offense is nice.

Sooners 35-Longhorns 24

Georgia Tech is playing Garnder-Webb. To illustrate the obsurdity of this, I will predict their score. (Note: YES, I know Tech originally scheduled Army for this spot and had to scramble to find a replacement opponent...still don't care).

Jackets 345-Whatever Gardner Webb calls themselves 2

The Dodgers got off to a great start in the NLCS opener last night, allowing the Phillies to use the long ball to put Torre's troops in an early hole. Future member of the Braves' disabled list Derek Lowe pitched well otherwise, but the Phils had too much Cole Hamels.

This one is tough to pick for me. Something about the Phillies' lineup seems dangerous in the postseason. Plus, Jimmy Rollins is the man. If someone else besides Hamels can win a game, I like the Phillies to go on to the Series. Does the Philly Phanatic get a postseason bonus?

Phils in 7

Meanwhile, in St. Petersburg, postseason fight club gets underway tonight. I seriously hope the Rays and Red Sox get into a massive brawl in the first inning, resulting in Aki Iwamura and Coco Crisp hitting each other with folding steel chairs.

As far as the games themselves, the Rays are a more complete team. If they don't let the Red Sox try to use postseason "aura" and "mystique," they should win the series. Plus, you can never underestimate the power of Tropicana Field's deafening home-field advantage. I think the Rays keep doing what they've done all year. That means we'll get the World Series we all picked before the season started!

Rays in 6

I'm only doing one NFL pick this week because, frankly, I don't care about any other ones. Da Bears come into the Georgia Dome looking to stop the Falcons juggernaut. As a Falcons fan, I am conditioned to expect failure, even when the team shows promise. While I don't think Matt Ryan is giong to be indicted on federal moonshining charges, I do think something has to give. Matt Ryan could have one of those games like he had in Tampa, which means it will be up to Michael Turner. He's good, but he can't do it alone.

Bears 17-Falcons 7

That's all I got. Enjoy the weekend.